


I Gotta Leave (But I'll Miss You)

by skyguyandsnips



Category: Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-11-10
Updated: 2013-11-10
Packaged: 2018-01-01 01:38:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,107
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1038802
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/skyguyandsnips/pseuds/skyguyandsnips
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Written before the premiere of The Wrong Jedi, this is a softer, alternative take on Anakin and Ahsoka's farewell. There's no mention of Barriss Offee or Ahsoka's expulsion from the order as I didn't know those details then. A oneshot.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Gotta Leave (But I'll Miss You)

Anakin stared at his Padawan.

“ _I’m leaving the Jedi Order.”_

No. _No._

“Ahsoka—” Anakin wanted to give her some grand speech about thinking everything through, about how she was just confused or tired, but the words wouldn’t come. 

He switched to the bond almost involuntarily, reaching out to take her arm so she wouldn’t go. Because he knew if she left this time, there was a good chance he would never see her again. _Ahsoka, you can’t_ leave _. I_ know _you’re hurt, I know you’re—_

Ahsoka took a deep breath, cutting him off. _You’ll be okay_.

Anakin just kept on staring down at her. She had never looked so young, not even that fateful day on Christophsis when she’d introduced herself with a confident, “ _I’m Ahsoka. Master Yoda sent me.”_

He didn’t speak. There was nothing he could say. He wasn’t going to be ‘okay’. He would never be ‘okay’ again. It was Ahsoka’s _dream_ to become a Knight, and she _adored_ being a Jedi. You could see the excitement in her face whenever she talked about it, the barely contained pride whenever someone called her _Padawan Tano_.

But as Ahsoka wordlessly reached up and snapped the string of beads that served as her Padawan braid, he began to believe that dreams could be thrown away.

When she started to hand it to him, he almost backed away and ran. From Ahsoka, from the fact that she’d left the Order, from the past few weeks, from the remnants of a friendship that he now saw was almost doomed from the start.

“What about everything we’ve been through?” His voice cracked on the last word. He took the braid carefully, as if it would dissolve in his hands. He would keep it, but not for the reasons Ahsoka had given it to him. He would keep it to remind himself just how much of a failure he was. 

And that this was what happened when he got attached to someone.

“I know,” Ahsoka whispered, looking away and bringing her arms up to hug herself. “I _know_. And I’ll always remember… but I can’t stay here. I can’t, Mas—Anakin. Not knowing the Council is capable of being so…” She paused. “Evil.”

Anakin winced at her use of his name. “You’re one of the Lost Twenty now.”

Ahsoka stiffened slightly, but nodded. “I guess it’s the Lost Twenty- _one_ now.” She let out a soft laugh, but it was so humorless Anakin almost found it bitter. “I should probably give this back to you. The secrets of the Jedi aren’t exactly supposed to be known by civilians.”

She turned and went over to the nightstand, opening the drawer and pulling out a worn, navy, leather bound book.

Anakin traced his eyes over the title and instantly recognized it. _The Jedi Path_. He had given it to Ahsoka soon after they’d first met. This copy had been owned by Yoda himself, and then passed down to Thame Cerulian, Dooku, Qui-Gon Jinn, Obi-Wan and then him.

_Well_ , he thought as Ahsoka turned to face him again. _I guess I’ll just have to keep it._

Because Mustafar would freeze over before he took another apprentice, even if the Galaxy depended on it.

“I guess I broke my promise,” he said roughly, as if he were scolding himself. “You’re leaving the Order because you’re hurt. Because I couldn’t protect you.”

Ahsoka’s grip tightened on _The Jedi Path_. “This isn’t about you, Master.”

“Does it matter who it’s about, Ahsoka?” Anakin snapped, beginning to pace. “You’re _leaving behind something that’s your entire life_. What kind of Master am I to let something that would make you do that happen to you?”

“ _Was_ my entire life,” Ahsoka corrected quietly, top teeth tearing into her bottom lip. “And you’re not a Master anymore, Anakin. Not mine, anyways.”

Anakin stared at her for a moment. Finally, he crossed the distance between them and pulled her into a hug. It was one of those tight, desperate hugs. The kind you gave someone when you were sure you'd never get to do it again.

“Maybe so,” he said softly. “But you’ll always be my Snips.”

“And here I told myself I wasn’t going to cry…” Ahsoka grinned into his tunic and returned the hug. “I’ll miss you.”

Anakin sighed. “Please stay out of trouble—because if someone decides to frame you for something again, I can’t help you. No bounty hunting or anything.”

Ahsoka pulled back slightly, rolling her eyes. “Fine, but I’m going to learn how to shoot a blaster—or at least use an electrostaff—probably two. No lightsabers is going to be hard to get used to.”

“Yeah, I bet.” Anakin was quiet for a moment. “You’re always welcome in the Temple, you know. At least by me.”

_Forget the Council_ , he thought. They could just go die in a hole, for all he cared.

“I know… I guess I should go now.” Ahsoka gently pulled all the way back from Anakin, handing him _The Jedi Path_ and turning around to face the lone bag sitting on the bed. She shut it and grabbed the handle, turning it right side up.

Anakin just stood there, holding tightly onto the book. Every time Ahsoka took a step towards the door something inside him cracked.

“You _are_ one of the Lost Twenty-one,” he said finally, just as Ahsoka opened the door. “The Council’s going to say you fell from _your_ path, but that’s only because what really happened is too embarrassing.”

Ahsoka paused and looked over her shoulder at him, one foot in the room and one out. “And what really happened?” 

She sounded like she almost didn’t even want to know the answer.

Anakin looked his former apprentice dead in the eye. “The Order lost you. They abandoned _you_ in _your_ time of need, just because they were scared of some stupid politicians and a social climbing bureaucrat. And they’ll always regret it.”

Ahsoka’s mouth fell open, and tears welled up in her eyes. She quickly wiped them away, before they could fall. “I—thank you, Master Skywalker. For everything.”

Anakin blinked as she stepped into the hallway. He followed, but the Togruta was nowhere to be found in the sea of Jedi.

He felt something nudge the back of his mind.

_Ko to ya, Skyguy._

He swallowed. This was it. _I’ll never forget you, Snips._

_I know._ Anakin could almost see her cheeky smile _. Tell Senator Amidala I said bye. And that she’s one lucky lady._

Anakin blinked again. _I… uh… alright… May the Force be with you, Ahsoka_.

_May the Force be with you, Anakin._


End file.
